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neumu
Monday, September 22, 2014 
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Cinematronic by Michael Snyder
DVD
cinematronic
  The Musketeer cinematronic
  director

Peter Hyams

cast

Justin Chambers, Mena Suvari, Stephen Rea, Tim Roth, Catherine Deneuve, Jean-Pierre Castaldi

year

2001

extras

Widescreen; closed caption; theatrical trailer, production notes.

rating rating cinematronic
  A terrible attempt at a cinematic reconception of the classic Alexandre Dumas novel "The Three Musketeers." The swordplay is done with wires in the gravity-defying style of Hong Kong martial-arts movies, and the incongruity is beyond jarring. Pretty-boy actor Justin Chambers ("The Wedding Planner") is way out of his league as D'Artagnan, the fourth musketeer, and nubile Mena Suvari ("American Beauty") is miscast as his love interest, a young chambermaid who is also (heh!) the Queen of France's secret confidante. Their line deliveries are ineffectual — not that the stilted dialogue sings in the least. The cast includes otherwise respectable actors: Stephen Rea ("The Crying Game") as the evil Cardinal Richelieu, Tim Roth ("Planet of the Apes") as the even more evil leader of the cardinal's murderous black-clad brigade, and Catherine Deneuve as the Queen. But it matters not, because the movie doth suck in a manner most unpleasing.  
cinematronic
cinematronic


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